Proud.

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You know, there are a lot of moments when you just have to take a step back from what you’re doing and just feel proud of what you’ve accomplished. I get that way sometimes. I look at my life and ask myself, “what have I really accomplished?”

With a list that includes graduating from UNI, travelling the world, falling in love, loving Jesus, and making some amazing friends along the way, I’d have to say I’ve accomplished a lot. My heart is scared about 85% of the time, but when I really push myself to accomplish something, I find that I can make myself pretty darn proud.

But that’s not what this is about today. It’s about the people I’m proud of. People that have shown up in ways in my life that are unexpected, who’ve inspired me or who just get ‘it’. So this is for all of you. Just a little reminder that I’ve been seeing you, from near and far (please don’t read that as- I’m watching you), and I am beyond proud to know you.

My friend Hannah Rodriguez. I’m proud of you. With a year like you’ve had and having to push through a lot of things, I’m proud of you for sticking your head out and travelling. I’m proud of you for being a pain in my butt about coming to visit me, and no, I am NOT putting you in that category with everyone else. I am proud of you for getting out of your comfort zone and seeing the world that I so love. It really does change your life, doesn’t it? Mostly, I’m proud that even though I suck at maintaining our friendship, you’re there helping to carry the weight. Thank you, I am so proud of you.

My dear darling Taylor VanderWell. I’m proud of you. To move to Scotland and pursue your MA is no easy feat. I know, as we’re in the same boat. I am so proud of you fearlessly conquering this journey and doing things God pushed you to do. I’m proud of you for growing through a heartache that no doubt hurts like hell. I am proud of you for being one of the warmest, sweetest and most genuine people I could ever come across. And mostly, I’m just proud to know you because people with your kind of heart make the world a better place. You’re awesome.

My best friend Chelsea Hackman. I’m proud of you. For moving to Rochester, settling your life there, falling in love (you’re welcome) and buying a house, and puppy. Please stop being an adult before it’s too late. I am so proud of you for doing life and just being so good at what you do and who you are. I love that you put so much into our friendship. I am proud that you continue to be an outstanding best friend despite the 4,000 miles between us. For constantly listening to my incessant “I can’t’s and I won’t’s”. I’m proud to call you my best friend.

My friend Brittany Montella. I’m proud of you. For taking a chance and moving across the country. For letting yourself be vulnerable enough to go through life and let it shit on you sometimes. For looking fierce every single day even when life isn’t so kind. I am proud that you are brave and strong and have an attitude of confidence that will make you go places one day. I’m just straight up proud to know such a badass.

My sister, Alli Linn. I’m beyond proud of you. For going through vet school and coming out the other side in one piece. For being my confidante and letting me unload on you when you don’t really have the time or energy. For making me laugh and helping me believe in myself. I am proud. I’m proud of you because it makes me proud of myself, that I can look up to you and feel like I can fill your shoes and make other people just as proud of me. I’m proud of you for doing what you love, and for being one of the most mentally strong people I’ve ever met. You’re the best sissy.

My girl, Jardelle Johnson. I am proud of you. You’ve gone through it. Many times. And yet you have this softness to you that I really can’t explain. I am proud because you are trusting enough to have let me into your life and let me see the hard parts. I’m proud because you’re gonna go off to Brown in August and absolutely crush it. I’m proud because in the short few months I’ve known you, I’ve gotten to witness you grow, get stronger and make strides in your life that no one could NOT be proud of. I hope you try to be as proud of yourself as I am of you.

My love, Karl Lawson. I am proud of you. I’m proud that every day I wake up knowing that someone like you loves me. I’m proud to watch you work and create, because I get to see a whole other part of your mind, and it makes me love you even more. I’m proud of you for loving me when I often forget how to love myself. I am proud every time I see that grin on your face, every time you calm me down, every time I get that next encouragement from you. You are a huge reason that I can be proud of myself. You’re a ten, babe. I am so proud to call you mine.

Myself. I am proud of myself. For moving across the world and letting myself be vulnerable to all that life makes me worried and anxious about. I am proud that I am striving to serve the Lord more and watch what he does with  my life. I am proud that despite my biggest insecurities, I will finish this task in my life and complete this degree, even if it kills me. I am proud that I opened my heart to love and found the best man I could ever fathom. I’m proud that I love others and care about them like I wish to be cared for and I’m proud that I can write a post like this about amazing people in my life who make me feel this way. Good job, Jacci. I’m proud of who you are.

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