“Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It’s for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough…”
Distance Doesn’t Work.
How many times have you heard that in a relationship?? For me, I think it’s been approximately 5 times. I have never been one for long distance relationships, or (LDR’s) as they’re known, but I am one in favor of relationships. When I believe love is real, I am 100% invested. I am 100% in it, I am 100% committed to near, far, good and bad. That’s the problem, because no one likes being away from the person they love. No one thinks it’s fun to be hundreds, or thousands of miles away from the one person they want to lie down next to at the end of the day. No one says, “hey babe can you move 6,000 miles away so I can miss you? Neat! Thanks.”
No. Unfortunately no one likes LDR’s and even fewer people are willing to try to make one work. Society says today, long distance cannot work… due to schedules, due to infidelity, due to place excuse here. But here’s the thing. 1 in 10 marriages have been reported to have included a period of long distance within the first three years. That means that about 3.5 million people are in a MARRIAGE that withstood an LDR at some point in time.
I hate the whole thing when people say, “I just can’t do a long distance relationship, I’ve done it before and it didn’t work.” FYI to everyone out there, being in a long distance relationship with someone else is NOT THE SAME THING as being in an LDR with me. It’s not. You haven’t tried it with me. This is my concern for people and their willingness to work in LDR’s, because if you love someone, like you claim you do, you will try. A relationship that didn’t work in the past has nothing to do with your future with me. So to say that your LDR in the past didn’t work, is like saying you didn’t like kissing her, so you aren’t going to like kissing me. Nope, doesn’t work in my rule book.
The other problem I have is most relationships do not break up due to proximity, but rather on compatibility. Let me break these facts down for you… 30% of proximal relationships (under 25 miles from each other) vs. 27% of LDR’s break up during the first month. So it’s actually easier to be apart in the first month of dating, despite the urges of wanted to jump each other’s bones and wanting to cuddle every night. 21% of PR’s (proximal relationships) vs. 37% of LDR’s break up in the first 3 months. Ok, so it gets more challenging in those next 2 months apart. 35% of PR’s vs. 42% of LDR’s break up during the first 6 months of the relationship… okay, again, it’s going to be harder to be apart than together when it gets to that 6 month mark. But check this fact, 23% of PR’s vs 11% of LDR’s break up during the first 8 months, and 25% of PR’s and only 8% of LDR’s break up during the first year. So if you can prove to yourself that you are compatible enough with someone to show that relationships are more emotional and psychological than JUST physical, you have a far less likelihood of breaking up. Cause here’s the thing: relationships are not about proximity, but rather, they are about compatibility. Because let’s be honest, closeness has NOTHING to do with distance.
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