faith through fear

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To the wonderful man in my life, daunted by fear.

“Fear makes strangers of people who would be friends.”- Shirley Maclaine.  When we first met, the fear of the unknown should have made me question you. It did not. We should have been strangers, and remained that way. Instead, we did not fear, and we’ve become friends.

“Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.”- James Stephens. The curiosity in me conquered my fears and my doubts about you. I decided to have faith in you as a person and who you were. A choice I’m very happy I have made.

“There is much in the world to make us afraid. There is much more in our faith to make us unafraid.” -Frederick W. Cropp. Faith is what keeps me from fear in our relationship. Having faith that God brought us together for his reasons and that faith will keep us going. If I had fear, we wouldn’t be together. I would fear of you cheating, fear of distance. I would fear you would never love me. But I don’t fear that though.

“Fear is faith that it won’t work out.” -Sister Mary Tricky. Your fears, as I believe, now are in faith that it won’t work out. Because every obstacle, every negative thought and also pretty much every person and past relationship says it will not. I do not keep that kind of faith. My faith is in God who loves us both. My faith is in you, the man I want to be with, the man I want to love, the man I see a future with. My faith is in us, two people that are so different but so similar. Two people who deserve the happiness the other can give. That’s where my faith is.

I think you’re living in fear. I look at the past few weeks and process what everything could mean. I believe that you take space and make it more challenging to be close to me. I think that’s why you have a hard time spending so much time together, because you fear falling for me. I believe you’re afraid of what will happen when I move abroad. I think you’re afraid that I will leave you behind and that I won’t care or take the time to still be there for you. I think you fear being left.

I am afraid of going abroad, knowing our relationship may never be what it should be. I fear that I will leave a man behind that I’ve fallen for and that he won’t love me when I’m gone. I fear that I met the man I’m supposed to be with but he’s too scared to face the adversity of being apart. I want you to face your fears.

“Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.” -Bill Cosby. I am asking you, to face those fears. To make the investment in me for the long term. I am asking you to decide that you want this more than you’re afraid of it. I’m asking you to put your faith in me that I won’t hurt you, that I will be there for you always, and that I’ll be what you need.

I can make that promise today. I will be there for you, through thick and thin. I will be your ally and friend- whenever you need or want me. I will put you first, and myself second. I will not hurt you, rather I will do my best to protect your heart from any hurt. I will stand by you, even though thousands of miles may separate us, I will be on your side. And most importantly, I will fight for you. I will fight for your heart, knowing it’s what I should have.

I don’t want you to fear what we have. After such a short amount of time, I know and understand how easy it is to run fearful of what’s in front of us. What we have is special. I know and see that. I hope you can too.

 

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