this man is…

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This man is special. Significant. Determined. Positive. Handsome. Strong. Hilarious. Genuine… and I could go on.

We go through our trials, everyone does. He has gone through more in his near 25 years than I probably ever will. That happens to be another one of his amazing qualities. To be able to stand up against adversity and say, “I’m better and stronger than that.”

I have known him just 37 days and yet feel as though we’ve been around one another for decades. And to say decades is intense considering he and I are both just getting into the early years of our third decade. He has the capability to take my day from a 2 to a 10 in one phone call.

I’ve been paranoid in the past. I love love too much, and I get hurt jumping from one ‘relationship’ to another in order to feel the love I want to give others so much. This is why I always need a dog in my life; another living thing to smother with my love and affection. But a fluffy critter will only go so far to say, “I love you, too”. Β Granted, I have no qualms in being long-term single, but I thrive in a relationship. Ask any of my exes- minus the one you read about in my last post- and they’ll rave about me. I’m a great girl and a total catch. I know how to be in love.

Problem? I haven’t been in LOVE since 2009. Three years it’s been since I was in it. Back in the day with Kosta. That’s a long time for a hopeless romantic. Am I right? But here’s the beauty of my problem… when I do finally see love, I know what it looks like.

This man is every potential for love and happiness. He is potential for marriage. Whoa, yea, I just said that. There’s that adage of “when you know, you know”, right? Yea, I’ve never had that, but now I’m questioning if I do, in fact, know. I’ve had an instinct about this man from the get go. He solidified that instinct with our first phone call. This man is different.

There are days when my impatience wants to kill him. Days when I just want him to take the irrational side on an issue and get mad (like I do). There are times when I get let down without my call at the end of the day. Days when we both think, “how’s this ever gunna work with me leaving for 14 months?” But the doubts are always outweighed by the possibilities.

Could this man be my future? My husband, family and father of my children? I don’t know. But the odds, right now, are in his favor.

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