knowing that it’s right

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Hello my darling readers. All 5 of you 😉

I have a question to pose to you, and I really would legitimately like your input, so please comment or email me your answers at jacci.linn@gmail.com. I want to know this:

How long does it take you to know something is right in your life?

I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching the past few nights and I really am wondering about this question. My life lately has been a crazy one, filled with some relationships ending and some coming to their breaking points. That’s not easy for me. At all.

Last night I was in an argument, granted one that needed to be had, and out of hurt and anger I was told this by my ex-boyfriend/best friend- “I have more love in one fingertip than you do in your entire body. Because my love is real.”

Now what’s ironic about this statement is that I learned to love from this man, so if anything, we love the exact same way. So I’d beg to say that he and I both carry the same type of love, real or fake in each and every one of our fingertips and every other limb in our bodies.

He later called me out on my love for Kostas saying it’s a relationship based on physicality, and no heart. That my love for Greece is fake as well. Granted, he has never been to Greece nor ever met Kostas.It’s funny to me that this man I loved for years, and in all truth still do have much love for, could say something so outlandish.  But he doesn’t know my experiences in Greece, he doesn’t know my heart for Kostas. So after being extremely offended by my ex’s words I thought- How long did it take me to know that this was right in my life?

I’ll tell you a secret. I knew Greece was right in my life after 2 weeks. That’s all it took. I was terrified out of my mind to go there, now all I think about is going back to stay. My love of Greece, I can say with confidence, is based on the fundamentals of who I am as a person. I love the people, how they will accept anyone as family as long as they have a good heart. I love that you can feel love literally buzzing around you at a cafe on the boardwalk. I love that they are such a proud country, despite all they’ve gone through. I love that friends and family are the most important thing to them. I love their unpredictability. I love what makes Greece, Greece.

I knew Thessaloniki was right in my life when I was coming home from my internship one day. I was alone, and I decided to walk instead of take the bus. I walked up a few blocks to a place called the Kamara. It’s got this long alley of shops, tattoo parlors and cafes. I stopped to get a loaf of bread at my favorite bakery there, and proceeded to the bus stop. It was at this bus stop I knew Greece was right in my heart. I looked at the people around me..all coexisting next to this American girl, falling in love with their city. It was a beautiful moment for me. One I cherish.

I knew that Kosta was right in my life from the first date. Not by how he kissed, or that he didn’t smoke and wore a seat belt (which is amazing by Greek standards). I knew about Kosta from the way he spoke about his family. He has a love for them that I wish for everyone. He is the proudest uncle the world could ever know. He beams. It was when I talked about my family that I saw his genuine interest in knowing me. He put me at ease from the beginning. I knew that I could trust someone that would put their life aside for their family and friends, like he would. I know he’d do that for me now too.

So sure, my ex doesn’t know any of that. He hasn’t listened to me express my joy in loving Greece. He doesn’t see the smile I get every time I see Kosta’s face. He doesn’t know the tears I cried that night I left my home. All he knows is the girl he broke up with. All he knows is the love I had for him. I wish he knew more.

 

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